Camping etiquette (things you just shouldn’t do)

As some of you know, I’m an avid camper. Over the last three years of camping in my hometown, as I don’t often have enough time to venture far, I have learned a lot of what not to do. Here is my advice and (mostly) common sense things to remember whilst camping…

1. The tap where people get water is not your personal sink. Don’t dump food waste down there, you know it goes nowhere right? And bears people. They smell that shit from miles away, and there you are sleeping in a tent…never mind that is just disgusting for the rest of us when we need water.

2. The Outhouse. There are so many things here. Be respectful. Don’t leave your beer cans in there. Close the lid and open the door when you are done. Don’t pee beside the hole, you’ve done this before right? So many things…

3. Do not throw your disgusting cigarette butts all over the campsite, it’s bad enough when the fire pit is full of them, do you do that at home? Seriously.

4. And while we are on the topic of smoke, cigarettes, doobies, campfire…be respectful of where your smoke is headed, nobody wants to suck up your smoke, if your campfire is smoking, fix it, where there are flames there is little smoke…

5. Clean up after yourself before you leave. I always try to leave my spot way cleaner then it was when I arrive…no one wants to wipe your sticky mess off of the table or pick up your garbage on the ground. Also, don’t dump disgusting dishwater around the site. Wipe shit off before you wash it. Because ewww and bears. See suggestion #1.

6. Be respectful of your noise level. Everyone wants to have fun camping, of course…I love having my tunes playing, but no one else wants to hear my country music, and I certainly don’t want to hear your electronic bullshit whatever that is coming from your campsite at 11 at night. The same goes for your screaming kids, having fun is awesome, screaming at the top of little lungs all. day. long. Definitely no. That is part of why I camp, so I can get away from my neighbours screamer…

7. Barking dogs, just don’t. We all know how I feel about that.

8. Also, don’t leave their shit in the middle of the road, I shouldn’t even have to say that out loud, but so many times, walking down the road there are piles of crap. Be a grown up and look after it. if you are near my site I will give you a bag to clean it up. Or hey…there’s a thing called a stick, at least flick it in the bushes where no one will step in it.

9. Don’t steal people’s shit. I have been robbed at the campsite. I don’t leave anything out anymore. Every night and even if I leave for an hour my stuff is locked up. I was super optimistic that it would never happen to me until it did. Luckily it wasn’t anything major but it felt shitty all the same. Keep an eye on your neighbours stuff too, if you see someone being shady, call the cops.

10. Don’t throw your frisbee walking down the road and hit some chicks truck…she won’t be impressed. Especially because you are a grown assed man who should know better. Annoyance will indeed be obvious.

11. Also, don’t just cut through someone’s campsite, it’s like you have just walked into someone’s house and are walking through their living room. Soooo not cool.

12. When you are driving around the campsite looking for a spot, maybe 4 times (??) slow the fuck down. You are making dust and could very possibly kill a child. Slow. The. Fuck. Down.

I know there is more stuff, but that feels like enough for now. Have fun out there, but be respectful people, there are others around you!

Happy camping!

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