Christ on a bendy bus…

Luckily my boss is awesome. She is also perceptive. Which means I get a change of pace and get to learn new stuff. She knows when people are going to die if she leaves me out amongst them. So I am grateful for that. Because literally, if I have to stand at that til for five days a week for much longer, I’m going to do something that will either get me thrown in jail or fired, probably both things.

The energy shift is a big thing. It affecting every human on this planet. We have been in masculine energy for thousands of years, this has caused war and the mindset that has been what we have been living of, do more, have more, don’t slow down…blah blah blah.

The feminine energy that is now taking over is telling us to stop. Chill the fuck down. Re-evaluate what the hell we are actually here for. And our masculine energy is pissed. It can no longer function in this new world but it isn’t going to bow out gracefully. Sooo, lucky us, it manifests itself in sickness, anger, and restlessness. Because we have no idea how to do this.

It’s hard. We are all in the same place. Are you feeling restless? Don’t feel like your life is doing anything or going anywhere? Angry? Having health issues? Yep, you are one of us. Like human. It’s hard to be human right now. Fucking brutally hard.

I just want you to know, me too. Lots of other people too…

I am so grateful that I am single going through this, because honestly I would really just be single again. Lol. There isn’t another human on the planet that I would subject to me right now. I have a huge amount of empathy for those of you struggling through this with your better half. And good fucking luck.

If you, like me, understand that you can no longer carry on doing what you were doing, or dealing with the outside forces of stupid. Make a move, disco chick. Change it up. Figure out how you are going to fit into the new world without getting your bad ass thrown in the slammer. It doesn’t have to be a big move, just a better for you move.

I have found that I need to change everything. I don’t know who the hell I am right now. I have never felt more uncomfortable in my own body, and trust me, I have always felt uncomfortable in my body, so that should probably feel more terrifying to me than it actually does. I feel like everything about me is actually someone else. What the hell is that and what does it even mean? I am at the point where I am just taking one day at a time and trying to take a baby step a day to get closer to figuring that out. But I can’t go faster than that.

I. Just. Can’t.

And it’s okay. I am submitting. I have always been a perfectionist. In everything. I am finding that I am losing that. I know that I need to let that shit go. I am cutting myself some slack. Making the changes that have to be made to help me loosen up a little bit. But fuck me, it’s hard. Falling back is half of my life, I take one step forward and three back some days.

So what the hell do we do to get through this shit show? Look after yourself. Do what you have to do to make sure you are the best you that you can be regardless of how stupid everything out there is. And as you know, it’s stupid as fuck.

Ground yourself. Literally. Get the hell outside. Meditate. Tell yourself that you will indeed welcome this feminine energy in! Listen to music super loud. Dance. Take some you time. Somehow get away from all of the bullshit in your world and figure your stuff out. Alone. With your bestie. With your dog. Do whatever you have to do to be a survivor.

Exercise. Sleep enough. Eat good food. But also eat cake, if that makes you happy. Don’t worry if you are 15 pounds overweight right now. We all are. Stop beating the shit out of yourself. Make subtle shifts that make you able to survive this. It’s huge and don’t forget that you chose to be here through all of this, because your soul knows you are a badass and you can indeed make it through this shit show.

Because even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, we will indeed make it through this. Once we allow ourselves to take it easy, and allow the change that is inevitable to happen. It’s coming whether we like it or not. Being in the know is half of the battle right? We are all in this together, and one day, hopefully soon, we will be able to give each other big congratulatory hugs that we made it through the insanity. You’ve got this.

4 thoughts on “Christ on a bendy bus…

  1. Good for you for recognizing your limits and readjusting your priorities. I plan on visiting you, and frankly I’m scared of jail. So thanks for sparing me the scary experience.

    Life has never been about the big shit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worried about the big shit, only to find that no one gives a shit. So fuck that shit.

    Celebrate small moments. Coffee in the sun. A cuddle with a cat. A chat with a girlfriend. A talk with a friend from a different life. Moments that heal and energize. Pain and turmoil are not productive energy. Don’t give them a foothold because although they are not productive, they are opportunistic little fuckers.

    Park the Titan on the beach. Open the back window and put on some country. Put a mattress in the back. Cover yourself in a blanket and watch the stars.

    Every star has a story. And, so do you. And the thing about stories is that they are never finished. You can write the ending as many times as you want.

    Happiness is an inside job.


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