Dear Grumpy Old Men…

  • Please don’t come into our store expecting us to bow or grovel at your feet (unless you are Sir Bob, he is the only exception) even though I am sure in your little world you are someone as you say that you are, I don’t know you from Adam, in the 7 years I have worked there I have never seen you before which means you shop there pretty much never and I am NOT allowed to give you a discount. My bosses totally agree with me on this one, I asked.
  • Please don’t act like we (the girls) know nothing when you ask us a question. Especially the no brainer questions, if it is over my head I won’t fake my answer I promise…I will definitely get Nigel to help you if I can’t. Pretty much every time he will tell you exactly the same thing I will, if you weren’t going to listen to our advice anyways, we have other stuff to do.
  • And no, you can’t go up to the house and ask him what lawn fertilizer to use on your grass on his day off, give your head a shake.
  • Please look in my eyes when I am talking to you, you can’t make me have big knockers by looking and hoping.
  • Please keep your nasty pocket debris in your pocket, I just want your money.
  • Please don’t ogle me while your wife is shopping, it is just uncomfortable for everyone.

  • Killing everything in the universe by spraying it with Diazinon is no longer an option, get over it.
  • Don’t be a total jerk to your wife in public, actually this can totally go both ways, old ladies can be jerks too…but how about fighting when you get back to your car, nobody else want to witness your belligerence, and it is more than uncomfortable to be in the middle of the two of you while I am trying to do my job.
  • Smile once and a while, you woke up today, didn’t you? That is a lucky thing!!!

*Disclaimer…Most of my old guys are awesome, today all the grumpy ones came in at once.*

Between them and the fighting couple I either wanted to start drinking about noon, or just let everyone fend for themselves…

Oh and while I am up on the soapbox bitching…

Dear all the people who buy stuff at box stores, or at other garden centres with unknowledgable staff members…

  • Please don’t phone and say you just bought a cherry tree and have some questions about planting it…because I know immediately you didn’t buy it from us. We would TELL you what to do when you were buying it. That is why it might cost you five dollars more, because we know stuff, we give you information.
  • Don’t be so damn cheap, it is hard for me to filter when I am talking to you on the phone. It is July, I have been dealing with you idiot fools for months now. Just shop with us, it’s easier and you will 100% of the time get better results. Or better yet…call Walmart or Canadian tire or wherever you bought the tree and ask them for some help, see how that goes for you. Your tree is gonna die and you will just end up coming to us to buy a new tree anyway. Why not just skip the ridiculous part ??? Just saying…

Ok, I think that is about it for now, and to all of our awesome customers, which is 99% of you, thanks for being awesome!! You are the reason I love my job so much :)

I guess I should thank the grumpy old men and the fighting couple and the Walmart shoppers too, without you, I wouldn’t have blog fodder now, would I?

Happy Thursday my friends…


17 thoughts on “Dear Grumpy Old Men…

  1. Pingback: A plea to my drivers. | Mr. T's Jibba Jabba

  2. Sounds like a fun day at work! ;) ha ha. Those Grumpy Old Men…of course, that just makes me want to watch the movies!

  3. I understand completely. I have a story that has to do with the stupidity of customers, but lacking the grumpy element…I was in Seoul, Korea in socks store in a non-touristy part of town. There was an American man (just sayin’…I’m not trying to trash all Americans!) holding up a pair of socks and yelling “How much do these cost? How much do these cost?” The saleslady was terrified. I went up and told the man I could help and went to the saleslady and wrote something on a piece of paper. The saleslady wrote something on the paper, I looked at what she had written, and then I told him the price. He asked if I can write in Korean and I told him I could not and I showed him the paper. I had written…

    ₩ ? [₩ is the symbol for the Korean won, like $ is for dollars]

    Customers, just use a little sense and keep your voices down.

    And by the way, men are not staring at your chestal area hoping your boombahs will get bigger. Men like boombahs of any size. The only advantage to a woman having big ‘uns is that men can see them from further off or, if we’re already close, it just seems like we’re nearer you!

  4. I wrote a post about the particularly grumpy older population of my little, country town a while ago. An elderly gentleman responded with a giant tirade about how dumb us “tweet farting youth” are. Case. In. Point.

  5. That is so cool! It should be a manifesto for all stores and printed on a huge poster, placed at key points around the place. Then when the grumpy old men act all, er, grumpy, you can just point to the sign and smile at them!

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