Sprites of the devil they are!!

First text of the morning…

C says “Did you get them?”
I say “Get what?”
C says “The spiders!”
I say “No”
I go in his room and kill one, the other gets away…
I say “Got one”
C says “Hurry!!! If u don’t get them both and they aren’t there after school for me to get I’ll never be able to sleep!”
I say “Got them both”
C says “K, good”
I say “Couldn’t find one on table he tried to hide, found him :)”
C says “Sprites of the devil they are!!”
I say “LOL”

Where did he come up with that? Totally made me howl laughing.

This morning before he left for school, he told me there were two spiders in his room and he didn’t have time to deal with them. Could I please kill them. Of course, the second he walked out the door, I forgot. Hence when he sent the text, I had no idea what he was talking about…

He maybe needs to know, that we are gonna have a spider problem if he makes me be the one killing them. I hate spiders.

Hate them.

The ones in his room today I can handle, they are those little wee jumping spiders. I don’t like ’em, but I have no problem killing them. If we have a wolf spider anywhere, we are gonna be fucked. I am terrified of them. I know it is unreasonable, I get that. It is what it is, I can’t change my reaction for some reason. My oldest son Dylan is the spider guy, he catches them and puts them outside. Luckily, for some reason there aren’t many of them in this house, which is bizarre, because the house is older, but there aren’t.

Colton’s room seems to be the hiding spot for the jumping spiders and ladybugs. He has bunches of them in his room every spring. I think I have him convinced that ladybugs are the good guys, they are good luck, he is lucky to have them in his room. Well maybe not. I know he doesn’t kill them, but he may still be unconvinced it is cool to have them in his room.

I guess I should count my blessings that my kids are so well balanced. Other than him inheriting my fear of spiders, Colton is an amazing kid. He will kill me if he ever finds out I am posting this. Too bad. He has a twisted sense of humor, and comes up with random things that I totally don’t expect, such as the sprites of the devil comment. I mean he comes by it honestly, my family is a twisted bunch of clowns. It is just who we are. Colton is like my brother in a lot of ways, very quiet and unassuming.

So when he comes out with something like that, I never expect it at all. I should start to I suppose, it’s only gonna get worse as he gets older. The kid just really needs to get over the fear of spiders, he needs to be the one saving me from them. It is his job as the man of the house. It really is non negotiable.

17 thoughts on “Sprites of the devil they are!!

  1. Even looking at the picture that you put here makes me get shivers and goose bupms! I can’t stand spiders, and I’m making my 9 year old daughter to deal with them, I can’t!


  2. I was taught to be afraid of spiders when very small, by older sisters trying to frighten the little kid, telling me the little black ones with red spots were black widows and would kill you. SO when one landed on my hand one day I screeched and cried in fear. But my mother was oh-so-casual about my freaking out, and just flicked it away.. So I figure, they can’t be that horrible. I had one of those same models on my computer last night and just brushed it away with paper. I do not like looking at them- they just look more evil than other bugs. They way crickets are cute and roaches are disgusting!


  3. Okay

    “If we have a wolf spider anywhere, we are gonna be fucked.”

    I almost spit my coffee out, quickly swallowed and lol’d. This post cracked me up that I had to have my husband come over and read.

    I came to the realization that we can’t live anywhere else other than Southern California. Everywhere else, it looks to be common to have to deal with insects, etc. in their rooms. The occasional mosquito FREAKS me out, and that’s just the one. The worst scenario we usually have is ANTS. Hate them damn ants, and Orange County is basically one big freakin’ ant hill.

    Anyway, one gal in South Africa said there’s a time of year they have to spray the room nightly with bug repellent. GROSS. Now you said Colton’s room has bunches of jumping spiders and lady bugs every spring. Ugh!

    We get daddy-long-legs…which someone told me are the most poisonous, except their mouths are too tiny to bite us or almost anything. So, I used to let them be, to take care of the ants, etc….except now I have this new knowledge and I can’t help but smash’em. Sometimes I stop myself. I know they can’t bite me so let them live and take care of any other insects.



  4. Oh, girl…Arachniphobia?…Me too! And we get shitloads of them in the summer because of the couple acres of trees on our property. Is it me, or do them damn wolf spiders appear to be looking straight at you? I mean, I don’t want to be able to see a spiders eyes! That’s a little too freaking big for my liking!
    Are you sure what you consider to be ladybugs aren’t actually those Asian Beetles in disguise? You’ll know, because these things are more orange. They are seasonal, impossible to get rid of till they’re ready to leave, will bite, and stink when you squash them (I should be an authority on the little buggers now).
    I’d say your son comes from pretty good stock. My family is a twisted bunch of clowns too, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Makes life just that much more entertaining, doesn’t it?


  5. I don’t consider a fear of spiders unreasonable – I have the same fear! (I read it’s one of the top 5 fears.) I HATE them. Disgusting creatures. I know they serve a purpose in nature, but did God have to make them so gross looking?? I won’t go near one, they totally freak me out. You can hear me scream all the way in Canada when I see one in the house.


  6. Too funny and totally relate, my wife is deathly afraid of spiders and I have to be her “hero” and kill them for her. We have a lot of spiders in our house…..it sucks and frankly I don’t mind spiders as long as I don’t see them lol. What’s fun is we bought some Black Flag spider killer and when you spray them they will freak out for a minute then run in cricles and die, but they are not dead until the little white ball comes out of their butt (abdomen). My wife told me about the ball one night while I was playing “hero” I had never heard of this before, so I sprayed this bastard and she’s like “it’s not dead, it’s not dead….you have to wait for the little white ball!!” “what? I don’t see any little white…..HOLY SHIT!!! You”re right there it is!!!! Cool!”


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