As you all know by now, I live 5 hours away from my boyfriend.
So my post today is about living together.
Bill wants to…I do not.
Now this has absolutely nothing to do with Bill or how much I love him. It’s all about me. I have been on my own for a few years now.
And much to my surprise, I LOVE it. I never thought I would say that out loud, I really didn’t. But I do.
A little history about William and I, we have 6 kids between us. Yes you heard me right…SIX. Five that could potentially move back in with us at anytime.
I love every single one of them to pieces. But I refuse to live in a house where I have to clean up after 5 men and one teenage girl. Am I crazy?
I think not.
The boys are all 16 and up, and two of them mostly won’t live at home. But still, do you blame me here?
When would we ever get time alone together? NEVER, that’s when…
There is also the issue of Oscar and Felix. William is Oscar…he is getting better, for sure. There is still a long way to go, but he is trying, I know this.
I made a joke at work yesterday that I was going to buy a huge Motorhome and just live in that, and my friend Ruth said, “well that would be perfect, you could just park it in Bill’s driveway…”
Well no, I can’t.
Not until he sells the broken down truck, the boat, the tools. the 5.0 liter engine and the ’39 Ford that all block the carport. And my parking spot. It’s gonna be a big motor home. Then if he pisses me off, I can just go park somewhere else til he
apologizes to me makes it better.
I think I am a fucking genius here…
William??? he thinks not so much.
You know the look that a
guy four year old gets on his face when he can’t have what he wants? Like candy, or a cookie or a blow job? Well picture that face, and put it on Bill when we talk about me NOT moving in. The lip comes out, and there is pouting.
I have been a hard-ass long enough, that this has no effect on me whatsoever.
Also the fact, that I AM RIGHT, comes into play.
Now every man on the planet wants someone to look after him, to make his dinner and clean his house and be there smiling when he comes home at night.
Don’t shake your head no…you freaking know you do…all of you. Whether you want to admit it or not.
And that’s ok.
It will happen occasionally, I just don’t want it to be expected everyday, I don’t want to be under that pressure. I have lived my whole life playing the role of the perfect girlfriend or wife, I have definitely fallen short of that more than once, but you know what I mean.
I am not doing it anymore. For anyone.
I love being the caregiver, don’t get me wrong, I am just doing it on my terms from now on.
Would he keep doing things like that if I moved in? I hope so…I really do. But I am just not ready to chance it yet.
Me moving in at this point in time, is just not an option.
I am doing it all different this time, I haven’t taken the last five years of growing and changing to go back to the way it has always been with me, being a pleaser, needing someone to complete me.
I am a better person being independent and living alone. I know William doesn’t believe me now, but I am doing this for his own good as well. Old habits die hard, and I am pretty sure he is already aware that I am not like any other woman he has been with before…
He isn’t gonna always get his way with me…
Well sometimes he will…hehehehe…
I am a challenge.
I am a handful.
I am independent.
I am smart.
I am not settling for less that I know I want.
I know he is good with all of the above.
And besides that, he is kinda cute when he pouts….
We all know that I like to be amused.
And I am.
Hopefully he feels the same after getting home from work and reading about our real life all over WordPress, heheheh…ah well, it is part of the fun being with me. There is always a chance you are gonna be my blog fodder, and not even see it coming.
One thing is for sure, neither of us will ever be bored :)
Peace ♥ Out…