Addicted to porn…

Well that caught your attention didn’t it?

And no, I am not…but I have something really important to talk about today, and I wanted you to click on the link.

I do want to talk about addiction.

We all have it to some extent I think, at some point in our lives. Either ourselves or someone we know…and usually love.

I know I have in my life. Some of my own, and some with people that I love.

I smoked cigarettes for years, from when I was about 15. I finally quit 10 years ago, it will be 11 years on September 13 2011. It was seriously the hardest thing I have ever done. I quit numerous times over the years, when I was pregnant, I quit both times, as soon as I found out. It is easier when you have a reason.

I always started again for some reason.  I finally decided it was time, my children HATED that I smoked and let me know every single time I went outside to have one. It took me about a month, to work up to it, and actually do it. But I had a plan, I didn’t go cold turkey, and I had a great support system.

I changed everything I did in my life, I had to. I also quit drinking for about 6 months, as well as talking on the phone, they were huge triggers for me that would have just made it impossible to quit.

I also started to learn the computer, it kept my hands busy…

And I bought my Mustang.

Two things which kept me busy. I wonder some days if I just replaced one addiction with two others. I was totally obsessed with my Mustang for years, it has calmed down now, but I still have that part of my personality that obsesses…aka, soap making…my last obsession. I like to think as long as they are productive and healthy it isn’t as bad. Right?

Some of the people in my life have had harder things to overcome. One of my dearest friends had an addiction to prescription medication, that got seriously out of control, and in her case life threatening. There is nothing so heartbreaking as watching a woman you love like a sister, spiraling down, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to help. All that matters to them is the high…even when it is making them not want to live. They don’t want help. I had to walk away from her, knowing, I might never see her again, the road she was taking was one way.

We had no contact for many years as she fought her demons. Finally a little over a year ago, she reached out to me on Facebook, a huge step for her, and one I know took all her courage. I was leery at first, it had been a bad break when we parted ways, but I listened to her story, and knew…she deserved a second chance. I know now it was the addiction making her do the things she did. I had mourned the loss of our friendship like a death, and to have a second chance was an amazing gift. She has been clean and sober for 6 years this past December. I am so proud of her and all her hard work, she has fought this battle hard, and come back from circumstances most of us cannot even imagine.

I have another friend who is right now fighting his addictions, not that it ever stops when you are an addict, it is a battle you fight every day of your life. He has been working hard for the past year and a bit, there have been bumps and relapses, but he is trying his hardest to be the best man he can be, I am very proud of him, and hope I tell him that enough. We have been down a long road together, in really good days, and really bad. I also had a long time of separation from him, for the sake of my family and maybe in the long run for him as well. We have worked our friendship back to what it once was, and for that I am also grateful.

It is terrifying how addiction can devastate your life, your children, your spouse, your friends.

It is terrifying how people go inside themselves instead of reaching out for help. Our society totally contributes to this, telling us we need to be tough, strong, and not ask for a handout or help. We need to take care of our own messes.

This can apply to almost everything, there are so many ways to be addicted.

I have felt some guilt over the years, feeling like I walked away when they needed me most, but I have come to terms with the fact, that it was their fight, and I did my best to help at the time. There really was just nothing I could do.

I wanted this blog story to be about hope, and faith, and friendship, and love.  I know stories like this don’t always end up with a happy ending.

But they can.

So I wanted this post to give hope and maybe a little courage to anyone that needs it, be the addicted or the loved one of someone that is…it can turn around, there is help out there. Don’t be afraid to ask for it, or offer it.

And remember, love does conquer all…

Life may not take you down a fair path, or deal you the hand you hoped for, but everything happens for a reason, the lessons we live through are ones we have fought over and over, just never learned.

I wrote this a few years ago, when I was going through a trying time, and I put it on my mirror, so I saw it every day…

My path may be chosen,

But I am still the one steering…

I still try to remember it every day, when things don’t go the way you think they should…

Have a grateful Tuesday my friends…

Peace ♥ out

9 thoughts on “Addicted to porn…

  1. What a great post! And well needed especially these days when people are becoming addicted to pain meds. I think certain personalities struggle more with addiction than others. I don’t know why. My brother is an alcoholic, also my first husband. I wish I could help them but they have to want sobriety. It’s hard to watch people you love go down this road. Good for you for kicking your addictions and helping your friend.

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  2. Congratulations on quitting smoking Princess – a huge achievement. My hubby gave up 2 years ago now as he has COPD and he says it was the hardest thing he has ever had to do.
    As regards more serious addictions, we have a loved one who has just come out of rehab after years of drug-taking. We know he is still struggling with it, but give him all the support we can – it’s all we can do. I just hope and pray he gets through it.

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  3. I went through a nearly identical stint with smoking as you. I quit I don’t know how many times only to start back. I finally quit nearly ten years ago for good. The hardest part is that people who have never been addicted have no idea what it means to be addicted. Dad used to tell me “just quit.” Not that easy.

    Good post.

    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

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  4. Thank you Princess. I think we’d be hard pressed to find anyone who can’t claim at least some addiction. Most of us here are probably at least a little addicted to blogging! And that’s no joke.

    Congratulations on conquering your addictions Princess. And for helping your friends. You’re a very loving, supportive person. And it shows. :)

    Thanks Princess. :D

    – Papa Joe

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  5. Wonderful post …thank you for sharing. Addiction is very tough and takes a committed, determined will to conquer. You hear the saying you have to “hit bottom” to realize how serious the condition is and then you either turn around or give up. God bless all those who have the will to try! It can be a tough battle.
    Debbie

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