The great release…

Ok…I keep pretending I am going to do it, I keep saying it out loud…but ya know…I don't know if I have really meant it up to this point.

I need to give it up to the universe, like really just believe, trust and know that everything is as it should be.

I guess part of my problem is I am scared, everything I am doing is life changing, not just for me, but for my boys as well, and I am scared that I am not making the right call.  I think I am, I really feel down in my soul that I am going in the right direction, but there is always that doubt with me…that insecurity that I might not have what it takes, either to do what I plan or to pull it off all the way…

It has always been what holds me back, or makes me fail….back to self sabotage, which I rock at, by the way….

I am really trying to not do that this time…there is too much on the line. My future, my relationship, with Bill and my kids…my new job :) or shall I say career…I really want to do what I love doing, I just have to figure out how to get it all arranged so it works for all of us.

That is where I falter, I get overwhelmed and stop like a deer in the headlights….

So I have to have some kind of faith, I am not religious in any of the conventional ways, but I do believe that there is greater power…but lets us not have that conversation right now, it will be a fun one for later :)

I have to believe in myself this time…believe I can make my dreams come true, with hard work and the knowledge that all I can do, is the best I can do…and I am going to screw up getting there, and there are going to be back steps on the way, inevitably…

but this time…

I am determined….

I am on the path I need to be on….

and I can do this….

 

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One thought on “The great release…

  1. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself, you know you can do it – besides, if there’s only one ferry in the way, maybe we can actually get together soon!!

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