Hindsight is 2020…

Never in the history of ever has this been more legit. There were signs early on, but honestly, who the hell knew? So what have we learned from 2020?

1. When you get the worst cough and flu you have ever had January 1st, and it doesn’t totally go away until March…it might be a premonition of things to come.

2. Don’t ever rule out a Zombie Apocalypse. Just. Don’t.

3. When you feel like the world has shit on you enough for one year by the end of March, you are wrong. There’s more…

4. When you are like…hey nice mask 😷 and then you stop and think, what the fuck? How would we ever have guessed this is the state our world is in…

5. Now let’s do the good stuff, because in this shit show there should be something…when the 5 year old President of the country below you, gets thrown out on his ass and then has a big temper tantrum and won’t leave, but still has to, even if he has a fit. See ya, and I honestly think the world would have imploded had he won again. It was a November miracle.

6. Quarantine teaches you stuff. Whether you think it did or not, being locked in your house has to change you. No matter what your circumstances are.

7. Thank God I was single during quarantine.

8. We were lucky enough to have all gotten fat while quarantine was in place. That means we were warm and had enough to eat.

9. This will end eventually. We may have had to do things differently, and yes, some of it sucked balls…but it will be over one day. Hopefully before 2024.

10. Hopefully we don’t take simple things like hugging everyone we know for granted ever again. I miss hugging the most.

So to one and all, I send you all of the love I can muster up. It’s been a tough one. For every single one of us. Don’t forget that. You aren’t alone. We are all gonna make it through this. And even if 2021 is a bitch, we’ve got this because we have had a shit ton of practice. Love your friends, be kind to strangers. Here’s to a Happy 2021!

Could it be Spring?

As in … GET MY ASS OFF THE COUCH. That extra 10 lbs is NOT going to lose itself. I have cajoled, tried to trick it, snuck chocolate at two a.m. when I thought it wasn’t looking. Apparently exercise is a good idea and literally the only way that it’s gonna happen. So shit. Fine. Spring.

I’ve started walking again. Except of course I get home from my first really long walk in a while and I have a monster blister from stupid socks. What the hell is with me and socks? Ask anyone I work with and they will tell you it’s constant with me. Socks are my nemesis. No bloody wonder I hate shoes. I know…whatever. I’m not a normal girl. Nothing surprising about that.

And dating. Have I started to feel the odd moment when I feel like company other than three little meowing brats, that are totally self centered and don’t make me coffee or dinner…isn’t all that I want in life? And how about a massage once and a while you little jerks. No one is pulling their weight here.

Meditation. I must. I feel like I have to ground myself a lot right now. Earth. Water. Good eats. Self, self, self…I want to be the best me I can be. I feel more optimistic than I have at any point in the last crazy year, I’m running with that, not literally…because you all know I don’t run. Unless there’s something with big teeth or a knife chasing me. Let’s not go there. No running.

I can’t wait to get my hands in the soil and start planting, I’m going to have plants, so may plants. I want to do reiki outside. I want to set up a beautiful oasis on my back deck so I can move forward with my practice, and just figure out how that is going to be a thing in a pandemic.

And camping. I can nearly taste my cooked over the fire dinner, and hear the sound of the rain on my tent, because that’s how I roll. I’ll try and set up a bit better this year so I don’t kill my battery and get stranded at the campsite on the last day of camping again. But hey! It’s how I meet people, asking for a jump always stirs things up right? So I’m feeling optimistic and open to whatever adventures this year has in store!

If Covid stops being an asshole I will be road tripping to the Island in April. Anything out of my house is pretty exciting at this stage. How is your spring fever feeling? Are you ready to get back outside again? Talk to me…

He’s just not that into you…

Ten things a guy will say or do to you that you should not ignore. (Taken from The Book of Donna and Lessons Learned)

1. I don’t make plans.

This is a big one. Don’t ignore it. Because what it really means is he doesn’t want to make plans with you in case something better comes up. Then he can say you never had plans and he doesn’t have to feel like the jerk he really is.

2. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.

What? There is never, ever justification for saying something you know will hurt someone you love. You might say you didn’t mean it, but you did. If you truly cared about someone’s feelings it wouldn’t even have occurred to you to say something that would hurt them. Own it, stop being a jerk and don’t do it again.

3. I couldn’t get away.

Bullshit. You didn’t want to leave. Instead of being a grown man, you decided to not text or call and pretend that there was no choice. Total Bullshit.

4. I can’t make you feel anything…

What the actual fuck does this even mean? Yes we should all take responsibility for our emotions and reactions, but you can make someone feel like a piece of shit. You can make them feel sad and insecure. When you are in a relationship with someone, what you say to them and how you treat them is a thing. Hopefully as women we just don’t let it drag on and kick his ass out shortly after that happens more than once.

5. I never said I love you because you should have just known I did.

Again, total bullshit. When a man tells everyone in his life he loves them except you, he doesn’t fucking love you. He is biding his time until something better comes along or the gravy train runs the fuck out. Kick it to the curb.

6. I didn’t think you’d mind.

How about just asking me if I do…then you’ll be sure that I don’t.

7. It wasn’t my fault, I had no choice.

Yes you did bonehead. Stop talking.

8. If he ghosts you for a substantial amount of time, for any reason. Ever.

Unless someone has lost an eye, lost their phone in the ocean or died. These are the only acceptable excuses for being ignored. Walk away from that. Right now.

9. If they never say sorry for anything, ever.

Narcissist. Run. The. Fuck. Away.

10. I didn’t see this coming.

Really dumbass? It’s been in plain sight for months. I have said the words. It’s been a conversation. The fact that you didn’t see it coming can only mean that you haven’t heard anything I have said. Points off and see ya later.

I could probably go on and on, but let’s keep it short and sweet like you should if any of the above apply…

Choose you, choose happy. Don’t feel bad about it.

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