Sometimes you just need a little momentum…

There are days when I wonder how the HELL I get everything done in the time I have in a day.

Sometimes, it is because I stay up until the wee hours of the morning, doing things I shouldn’t. Like revamping my websites. Or working on a clients site until the ungodly hour of two in the morning. That could have been last night.

Today was the mini window when I knew I had to get the lawn mowed, or it was going to be the job from hell the next time. Because it is going to rain. Again. On my days off. Bugger.

Today I got the John Deer out, and decided to mow before it was out of control. It was long, It was wet, and it was slippery in the back yard already.

So much for not having rain for the past 4 months. If you are out of water, just come to the castle. Our backyard has enough water for everyone.

It’s a little tricky mowing the back when it is wet like that. I don’t want to get stuck…this is my first thought. Bruce wasn’t home and I just don’t have the skill to figure my way out of that one.

I pray that no one is watching through the trees or the fence. Sometimes my neighbor in the back is kinda weird like that.

I am sure I make faces as I put the pedal to the metal and get the lawnmower up the baby hill, praying the whole way that I don’t dig myself into the mud that I know lurks just below the surface.

Or that I leave great big huge track marks in the grass, tracks that will linger until…probably somewhere around March next year.

It was a close one there, I am hoping that the mud will just wash away in the upcoming rains and I haven’t left permanent winter indents.

The trick is getting up your speed enough to cruise through without actually getting any traction. Traction is bad. At least with grass and mud underneath.

Speaking of momentum…I found some. In the form of Web Design. I am adoring my new class. I am excited about web design again, and I really feel like I have found a wee niche that I will fit into just fine. Need a blog or website built? Call me. Or click on the logo below to go to the site to get all the info you need. PS. I am building a new site for On the Edge. It is a work in progress. It will be fabulous.

Web design is kind of like crack to me…well except I have never done crack, so I really have no idea what that is like. But I can’t stop building them. I am taking a break tonight because I felt the need to blog.

I nearly took some pictures today too!! Holy hell…I plan on taking some of the Mustang on Friday, I love fall pictures…

I love fall, and boots and scarves. I love that I am nearly done work at the garden centre for the season and I can build websites in the daytime for the winter.

I love the fact that in nearly three weeks I will be in Whitehorse hanging out with my little brother for a week. And it’s snowing there already.

There will be pictures, glorious pictures. And laughing. And the Wee Prince. That kid is gonna hug me. Whether he likes it or not. And I will see my friend Deb. For the biggest hug ever. And Jen, and baby Jack. All things I love.

Life feels like a fabulous whirlwind right now, full of excitement, and learning and good things to come. As long as I survive the flight up and back from Whitehorse. I am a bad flyer. I guess maybe I should stop watching Mayday on TV for a few weeks. It’s not helping with the bad flying thing. At all.

Happy Fall my friends xox

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What the hell is wrong with people??

Have I had a blog with that title before??? Maybe, but once again I am amazed with the things that people will do in public.

It is actually a little terrifying when you consider that if they do bizarre stuff out in the open where people can witness it, what do they do in private when no one does?

This time, I am talking about Elder or Parental abuse.

I adore my parents, so I have absolutely no way to fathom how people can do this, that and the fact that both my parents would slap me upside the head if I ever came ANYWHERE near being abusive to them, but I have now seen it with my own eyes and I know it happens.

Now I am pretty sure that the situation I am talking about is dysfunctional on all sides. It is also a bit more frightening to me personally than just watching the abuse. I fear that this person is in fact a bit off the edge. It is not someone that I deal with on a regular basis, and actually have been lucky enough not to have any interaction with for a couple of years now, until the other day.

But I am not going to lie, I think that it would be fairly easy to suddenly become this persons target. Which I would prefer to avoid.

So hoping they are computer illiterate is high up there.

Just saying.

So how does a situation like this get to that point?

I would think that the parents would be abusive in the beginning right? I mean you don’t just learn that behavior for no reason, it has to come from somewhere, which of course doesn’t excuse it in any way, but explains it.

I was totally at a loss of what to do in the said situation. Like I said, I fear for my own safety, and all I wanted was to not be in this persons presence. The Mother gives me the same vibe, but I seriously felt for the father. Now these people are old…like in their late 80’s old. She was still driving and obviously shouldn’t be.

There was button pushing on both the Mothers part and the sons, though the son was just outright mean to her on every level with every word.

I have been in a verbally abusive relationship before, I know how it works. I know the feeling of being beaten down so low that you feel like you are worth nothing, even when you know it isn’t true, unfortunately that gets harder and harder to believe when you hear how useless you are over and over again.

You feel like you are responsible when you are not. Because the abuser makes you question yourself, makes you wonder if maybe it really is you…

I don’t have any idea what these peoples lives are like…but I know that for the 1/2 an hour that they were in my presence, I felt that again. I felt that shame, that fear, that ache in my stomach. I just wanted to run.

Getting involved doesn’t seem like an option to me. There is no way that would end well on any level. I just wonder what does one do when you know that there is something like this going on? How do you make a difference, without bringing yourself into the unhealthy and possibly dangerous situation?

It has effected me since it happened yesterday. I have tried to not think about it…tried to turn it off. It’s not my business or my place to judge right?

But my gut tells me someone is unsafe, which makes me uneasy, which makes me feel responsible because I KNOW about it. Even though I don’t know the full depth of the situation.

There is also no way that this is a secret, other people MUST know. I mean I think there must be some kind of outside care involved. I know that the family doctor has to be aware of some of this, due to a conversation that the son started with me. Isn’t he obliged in some way to do something?

I can’t report it, without names and more information than I have. I can’t find any real resources to help or that tells what you should do, it seems to me that you have to be fairly close to the situation to get involved. Which I am not, nor do I intend to be.

It has made me think. It has made me thankful that I have a family that loves each other. It has made me afraid. It has made me want to make a difference. It has made me feel helpless. It has mostly made me sad.

Please people, be nice to each other. Love each other…what the hell is wrong with our society that it is ok to be an asshole?? In public?? To your Mother?? To anyone at all??

Life is just too short…

Back from the nearly dead…

I was on a roll. I had the photo challenge lined up and I was going to be faithful. I still am, really. There has just been a bit of a burp in the proceedings is all.

Like I thought I might die. For the last three days.

I got back from holidays and went to work on Wednesday, at about lunch time I said to the girl I was working with that I felt like I had a stitch in my side. As the day progressed, so did the pain.

Now if I was normal human being I would have gone to the walk in clinic right after work, but I am not. I am a stubborn cow that just figures it is nothing and I will miraculously wake up better.

I didn’t.

I was in emergency at 6 am. Dying.

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